I'm my sister's brother! You're in love with me! me!!!

Before I accually get on with this post, I want to apoligize and put in another amazing part from an arrested development episode...

Wife: I'm in love with your brother in law.

Gob: You're in love with you're own brother? The one in the army???

W: No. Your sister's huband.

G: Micheal???....Micheal!!!

W: No! That's your sister's brother...

G: I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me. ME!

W: I'm in love with Tobias

G: My brother in law?

W: I know it can never be so I'm leaving and I'm enlisting in the army

G:To be with your brother??

W: NO!

**************************

Lmao...gets me every time.

Ok...now that that's taken care of I'm wonder what exactly should write about. There isn't much to say, and to tell the honest truth, I am a bit tired of typing as I've just finished working extremly hard on my science fair project; Subliminal messages.

What inspired this project has no relevance at this point in time, however I will say that it started off as a very frightening project. I mean...listening to Britney Spears and her very desturbing subliminal message kept me awake for quite a bit the night I'd first heard it. Then of course, there was the problem with the "guinea pigs". The experiment (which was creating a "home made" subliminal message) didn't reach the expectation of my partner and I. To this...I shrug my shoulders, cock my head, raise my eye brows and say "Meh!"

Once again, my science teacher has proved himself to be...a prick (Inside joke reference: I knew Gandi! He was a prick!) Thus, making my life a hell of a lot harder then it is already. Expecting our science fair project, 2-3 assingments that are impossible and three pages long each, along with a test and a quiz and a lab packed in a week, makes me wonder what drugs he's on. He did tell me once, I completly forgot what they all were though.

My glasses have been a subject of conversation. I don't wish to dwell on the topic, except that I feel like my field of vision has been reduced to...well...very little...At some point during the day, I was thinking to myself "What would it be like if I got those huge sixties style glasses. Then there would be no difference!"

The seal is for marksmanship!

Today proved itself to be...well...not as productive as it was ment to be, let's just say. But come on...let's think about that for a second, who wouldn't chose South Park over a Science Fair project???

James recently lent me the first disc of the first season of arrested development. Plenty of laughs...but it still reamains that the funniest part of any episode so far is this..

****
*Buster walks through the door, his arms full of stuffed animals.
*Mother comes running to him

Mom: *gasp* Buster

Buster: *gasp* Mom!

Mom: Thank God your back, there's no shame in being a coward.

Buster: A coward? I'm not a coward...WOULD A COWARD HAVE THIS??? *holds up a seal with a turquise shirt that has GOOD LUCK written across the back*

Mom: What the hell is that?

Buster: These are my awards mother...from army. The seal is for marksman ship and the gorilla...is for sandracing!

Mom: Your doing well?

Buster: I was just dropping these off. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called...HERO SQUAD!

******
LMAO....o...o so classic....alright alright....for those of you who don't share my sense of humour or just don't know the show...well....I have nothing to tell you except that you are...not...sharing...my sense of humour...! Yes well....there you go

owned by the chickmunks

Over the holidays, though I indeed sit on my ass for the most part it was not a complete waste of time. I downloaded the most annoying/fun/amusing.anything-else-you-want-to-call-'em songs. Those and of course the oldies that I find on a soundtrack or a movie that I happen to be watching (once again...sitting on my ass the whole holiday). This has proved to be a very interesting situation. I'll be listening to song that's bringing tears to my eyes and as it's slowly fading away I reach up to wipe away a tear and poke myself in the eye out of surprise when a high pitched 40 male voice screams out "HEY WHITCH DOCTOR...GIVE US THE MAGIC WORDS!!!!" Don't get me wrong. I love witch doctor as much as the next person, but the fate of the button shuffle on itunes has made it difficult. As I'm talking about witch doctor I may as well tell the story of how I was owned by the chickmunks over the break. Kayla and I were looking up the words to witch doctor. The only resource was by the chickmunks and after a good listening to...what I thought was:

"You can keep your love for me just like you were a miser,
and I'll go out and cook me a hairy smore
So I went out to find a guy that's so much wiser
and he told me that you are a whore!"

Ended up being:

"You can keep your love for me just like you were a miser
And I'll admitt it wasn't very smart
So I went out to find a guy that's so much wiser
And he told me the way to win your heart!"

Now to update to more present times. Today dear old ying-é called me crazy. I think...It was hard to tell through all the odd hand gestures and movement. All I remember is turning around, after Ying laughed over his witty comeback to my "retarded" science fair idea, and watching Pat do an instant replay of the moment. Very amusing. Not at all what I was expecting but definitly a highlight of the day. I have to admit that I can't remember what it was exactly that he did but I would love to reacount what had happened. Just thinking about it...tickles me...

*giggles uncontrolably*

the rough of a devil

The Devil, the straw and the shadow puppets

To prove to my dear friend James, that you can write about anything that's happened to you in a day I'm going to describe my day with an exaggerated amount of detail.

*Clears throut with such force a glass of water is needed*
*Gets up to go get a glass of water*
*Sits down comfortably*
*Tells people on msn to STFU!*
*Cracks neck*
*Cracks knuckles*
*Begins to type the first sentence*

I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Christmas vaction is over. Long gone and a thing of the past. Rolling out of bed (which wasn't a good idea as my bed is at least 5 feet of the floor) and getting changed in the dark was a pain in the ass since of course the sun only rises at about 7:30 am. Going to weight training was not so bad though. I made fun of Brad Pitt and Jenniffer Aniston with my weight training supervisor "Mr. Cinna-bunn".

Then at roughly 8 am I trudged up to English class which consisted of group descustions on our novels that we are presently "reading". Not to be critical but The Life of Pi is not the most exciting book in the entire world. Of course since my English mark did depend on the descusion and response to a number of questions I was reading to"discuss". All in all it was a pretty amusing class. With comments like "The theme is water!" and "He stole the police man's cookies in the end!" it wasn't boring at all. Finally we were in the midst of describing the main characters. This wasn't the easiest feat. Luckly our group had Mark to interpret what we were saying.

Kid: He didn't let himself get eatin' by a tiger!
Mark: He persavered.

OR

Kid: He was brown!
Mark: The character was relatable.

Next was media. My friends And I amused ourselves by making shadow puppets and telling our teacher that we'd shoot her to put her out of her missary (she pulled her back....having sex to me and kayla's belief) to which she gladly accepted.

Gym was interesting and...um...invigerating. My gym teacher made up a new game which was unfortinutly never played. *HAWB. Instead I nice, pleasent game of....DODGEBALL. Not to complain, I mean I love gym as much as the next fellow, but...when you play with my class you are always on your toes. Being the last left in a box was hard enough, but when the ball hit me in the ass finally, I pulled an ass muscle! no joke!

Lunch. Now lunch is never boring. I mean if you enjoy watching someone crunching a soda can in a neighbor's ear, a straw hanging out of a person's mouth (as well as watch it roll around between their lips as while he person is talking to you, as though it were a piece of food "left their for later") and of course the singing. Then my lunch table is perfect for you. I mean, this all happens between three people. There are the other twelve close friends who talk about everything from: The new kid to the teacher, from politics to religion, from my ass is so freakin' huge to naw look at mine. It's great. It's an awsome atmosphere.

Math. My new **VP comes to announce to us two things :

1.He's changed around the way DTs are going about.

2. I'll never know as I guess he doesn't count very well so he left without ever telling us what the second was.

This was my day. May your days be as eventful as mine!


NOTE: HA! I SCRAPPED THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL JAMES!


*(Hit Andrei With the Ball)
** I was later informed that my VP is the devil. This is due to his flaming red hair and his gotee (so say the grade 8 kids)

WHAT???

The worst pickup line I have ever heard is definitly:

"You know what? If I chopped off both your arms you'd look exactly like Venus de Milo."

WTF??? How do you come up with something like that? I won't deny that it's highly amusing but I mean...come on!

BLEH

Merry Christmas and all that jazz!

I know that I havn't written in awhile. It could be due to the fact that its hard to be inspired when all your doing all day is sitting on your ass. What a waste of my life!